FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)

Why do Russian women seek husbands abroad?

If you ask women this question, the answers will be:

• I want my children to be happy and have assured future, and it's impossible with the current situation in Russia.
• There are not enough men in Russia to find a partner.
• For many reasons, it is difficult for a Russian Woman to find the man of her dreams in Russia.

All the statements are true to some extent. At the same time none of them give you a real reason. The real and fundamental reason why women look for a life partner abroad is that they are not happy in their love life. It's that simple! A married woman, even if she is struggling with everyday survival and struggling with everyday living, won't go for a divorce to look for a foreign husband. Russian women want to love and be loved. Security and a better life go as a part of the package.

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Are Russian women's personalities different from western women?

Yes, they are a bit different. They don't have a different type of character and they also love shopping and chatting. They are human beings and they are definitely not perfect. The main difference is that they are much more patient and can tolerate things that Western women will never be able to bear. They are more considerate and dependable. They are partners, not competitors. Another important difference is that Russian women (and Russians in general) have very low self-esteem. While Western women think that they are goddesses and able to cope with anything on their own, a Russian woman will rarely leave a bad (really bad) husband because of the fear that she won't find another one. For many years the state and men have been oppressing them, and they don't think much about themselves. Russian women are well groomed, stylish and intelligent (as Russians in general) but they pay much less attention to sport and other aspects of healthy life-style. Nevertheless, they are rarely overweight - probably, because of permanent stress and the fact that food that is expensive.

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Are Russian women interested in living in any other countries apart from America? Seems most of the ladies are only interested in America?

Of course many women are interested in particular countries like Germany, Austria, Italy, France, England, Australia, Canada and others. Usually the reason for that is family members or friends who are staying there. On the whole, very few women would like to go only to the US , most of them don't care about a country if she is with the right man.

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I would like to write to some Russian ladies but I am not out to look for a wife immediately, rather a friend first and then see what happens. Do ladies expect more?

You can state clearly from the very beginning that you are interested in establishing friendship first. The majority of the women seeking partners do expect more, but if they decide to keep contact with you, it will mean that they accept your position. There is nothing wrong with your position and if you don't feel ready for starting a family right now, you may try to start with friendship. Be aware though, that a lady can accept somebody else's offer, even if she is really interested in you, just because she is not sure about your intentions.

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Can Russian women speak English?

Most of the ladies who apply to dating agencies can at least read some English. About 25% can speak and understand some English, and probably 15% speak good English.

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What kind of a sense of humor do Russian women generally have? Do they laugh a lot or very little?

Russians have a great sense of humor otherwise they won't be able to survive in that mad country. They laugh about things instead of complaining. Though they smile little on the street and in everyday life, it's not because they have no sense of humor, but because they do not usually smile without a reason. If you meet somebody's sight, she will usually just look back but never smile, as in Russia it's not appropriate to smile to strangers.

The sense of humor they have is also different. Russians prefer very fine type of jokes, with indirect humor. Russians do not find it funny when somebody falls or the like and they consider many western comedies to be silly. Loud laughing at background in sitcoms they find irritating and stupid. When somebody makes a joke or tells a funny story, he will usually do it with very serious expression on the face, and he will spoil everything if laughs with the others.

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Would a Russian lady be interested in living in a small town?

The majority of Russian ladies seem to be rather cosmopolitan. The reason is that in Russia living in a small town or village is a nightmare. There are very poor living conditions, dirt, no entertainment, no goods to buy, even TV reception may be not available. Russian ladies do not know and understand the difference between small towns in Russia and abroad. They just have this instinctive fear towards small towns.

My advice is to use the following tactics when writing your letters to ladies: Tell her a lot about your town, its entertainment, restaurants and cafes and other attractions. The weather conditions etc. - everything that you like there. Do not try too hard - you must just say how nice the place is and why you like to live there. If your stay there because one can make very good living, mention it. Send a nice picture featuring your city in summer - with flowers or a lake, or anything nice and warm. Tell her where you can go for better entertainment like opera or theatre, and how far is the town away from the big city.

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What do Russian women think about interracial marriages?

They simply do not think about them. The majority of Russian women won't consider an interracial marriage. As you know, there are no people of African origin in Russia, so ladies do not put the requirement about race on their lists. For them it's natural that they consider themselves applying only to men of their race. At the same time ladies do not have any prejudice towards such marriages. They don't condemn somebody else's marriage to a person of a different race, but seldom will consider it as a personal option. According our questionnaire, about 95% of ladies would like to meet a white man; 4% will consider a man of Asian origin, and 1% do not mind about the race of their future partner.

Will you loose time pursuing marriage to a lady from Russia if you are not white? It depends. For Russian ladies, if you look white, you are white. They do not distinguish Hispanic and whites. They are afraid of Arabs, but mostly because of differences in religion (Russians are usually Christians (Orthodox) although most do not practice on a regular basis). Some ladies will consider a man of Asian origin as an option, though you will have less chance than a white guy, and you will have to try harder. So, it is possible, but be ready that some ladies will reject you because of the race.

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I am 60-something and I would like to find a mate in Russia, but don't want to be a 'door mat' so she can get here and then dump me. How should I act?

A good idea may be our personal ad in Russia. Just make your requirements clear, so you will receive responses only from the ladies who meet them. There are many ladies in Russia in their forty's and fifty's who will be interested in you for yourself. (Just do not consider finding a twenty year old girl - you can find one, but your marriage will rarely last longer than 2 years...)

It's almost impossible for a woman over forty to find a marriage partner in Russia. Men probably have been already married, or they are not able to be good husbands because of poor health condition or alcohol addiction. Many ladies apply to agencies hoping to find a husband - somewhere... If she is around your age and meets your requirements, she will never dump you, because she will feel the responsibility. In general judging from the results of our agency women in their late 30s are even more popular than 20 year olds. The reason is that they are more patient and have been already beaten up by life, so they would not like to experience that again.

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Is it true that most of Russian women seeking men are prostitutes or ex-prostitutes?

No, it is not true. They are not prostitutes or ex-prostitutes.

Probably a few simple things will make you thinking.

Reason #1: To be a prostitute, there must be clients who are able to pay for having sex. With the Russian reality almost nobody has enough money for this type of expense. The men who have money do not have problems with women - they will love to make an acquaintance with a well-to-do guy. Probably the only place in Russia where a prostitute can make some money for a living is Moscow - there are many visitors with money. In regional cities there are very few people who are willing and able to pay for having sex.

Reason #2: In Russia there are so many women available, you don't need to pay to make love.

Reason #3: An educated intelligent woman - and most of Russian women seeking partners ARE intelligent and well educated - will never even think about this way of making living.

The media are not honest towards Russian women seeking marriage - they prefer to concentrate on funny stories, success stories don't sell newspapers. Russian women are human beings and they just want to be happy. It's the real and only reason why they look for partners abroad. Another thing that can confuse men - Russian women have a completely different style of dressing, and a decent woman can look like a girl from Hollywood boulevard. Russian women are very fond of short skirts and makeup, that's it, no hidden agenda. For them it's impossible to understand how a woman can dress like the most of females over there - jeans and trainers.

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Is it true that nearly 80 percent of Russian women smoke?

No, it's not true. Some of Russian women do smoke but not more than 5-10%.

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Why are the majority of Russian women are looking for much older husbands?

It's true that many of Russian ladies' ads state that they do not mind to meet a man of much older age (a 25-year-old woman usually is searching for 25-45 y.o. man, or doesn't specify any age limit). But if you see an ad stating that a 25 y.o. lady wants to meet a man of 40-60 years old, there is definitely something wrong.

The possible reasons why it looks like Russian ladies dream about much older husbands:

She did not specify age of a prospective partner in her application because she did not think that it's important or just forgot.

There are Very Few ladies who probably do want a Much older husband.

It's possible for a man to find a younger lady, and even Much younger. Our opinion is that 10-15 years difference is the limit, otherwise you will face problems at a later stage.

The simplest explanation is that Russian women like most women want security that they may never have had before and an older man is more likely to provide that. Of course, she must love him first.

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What about stories of ladies coming to the US and leaving shortly after the marriage?

It may happen. Not that often as media say, but it is a fact of reality. The biggest danger is when men hope that a young beautiful Russian lady will love an old unattractive American guy just because he lives in a better country and can guarantee her security. Some 50-year-old men dream about a 18-year-old girl, find her, marry, and then say that Russian women just want to get into the country. They would have never been in such a situation if pursued marriage to a women 35+. A Russian woman is entitled to feel happy if her husband does not drink and has a good job, nobody talks about love, it's not important. If a woman has a rich husband (a person owing a car, a flat, and earning more than $400 a month), people will think she is crazy or stupid if leaving him for love. But good standards of living are everything only for the poverty-ridden.

When women are in the country like USA, their attitude changes very quickly. Love and rewarding sexual life are important conditions of happiness. A lady probably was not going to divorce her older husband from the very beginning but at a later stage if she starts to feel miserable and realize that she has plugged herself into a worse situation than she was previously in, her mind may change, like any woman. It's really two different worlds, not just two different cultures.

A professor from one of American universities shared his impressions about the couple of men he met on the board of his plane to Russia who flew for a "Marriage Tour". He characterized them as "bad". He said they were arrogant and obviously had problems with health, and were drinking too much. One of them complained that he was married previously to a Russian woman but she left him a year after the marriage. The professor said he felt sorry - for the woman, because she had stayed with this man for a whole year. He said that he would run away from him in a couple of days if he were she. This guy was intending to find another lady for marriage in Russia - again, 20-30 years younger. It's where the stories about Russian women looking for nothing but a Green Card start. It's important that you both love each other, otherwise your marriage won't work. Period! A woman can say "I love you" when she doesn't, it's just another Russian women's feature. They are not able to refuse when a man insists. You must not fool yourself. You will always feel if it's a true feeling. We believe none of women will prefer to get married to just divorce her husband in 2 years (the necessary time for receiving Green Card), if she can get married for love.

Russians are surprisingly non-materialistic when it's about true love. You may think that I am not consistent saying that, but the truth is that Russians are not consistent. They think by hearts and feelings. They can have beliefs but act in the opposite way because of feelings. They will follow their decisions made by mind until true feelings get involved. (It's why sometimes westerners think that Russians are irrational. They are rational but in their own way.) A successful marriage can be based only on love and mutual respect nevertheless if it's a Russian woman or a Western one. Your foreign citizenship can make you more attractive for Russian ladies but it can't make your marriage more successful. Russian women make good wives - that's true, but only if she wants to be your wife and you love her right back, as a husband and a friend.

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Why it takes so long for Russian ladies to answer letters via email? Is it because they have to save money for sending letters? Should I offer a financial help?

There may be a few reasons why ladies do not answer promptly and one of the reasons may be lack of money. It is good to offer covering ladies' expenses for email services - the amount a lady spends for receiving one message is not more than $1, and for sending - about $2. This is the case for many agencies but not ours. For more detailed information see our Price List. The lady pays nothing and all our email services include pre-paid reply envelopes as standard. I believe, almost any single woman in Russia needs some financial help but she will probably refuse to take money from you if she does not feel that you might become a couple.

The average monthly salary in Russia is about $40. If she works for the government, she may receive her salary with a 2-12 months delay. Secondly, she may save money on translations and translate her replies to you at home with the dictionary, that can probably take several days until she brings the response letter.

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Can a woman visit me first?

There are many different types of visas a person can get for coming to Europe or Asia but for the USA, for a single young woman, the only one she can get considerably easy is a fiancee visa. All the other visitors' visas are very difficult to obtain including the tourist visa.

If a lady has very good income (more than $500 a month), some property in Russia and a child staying behind, and She Can Prove It, she will probably be able to get a tourist visa. If she does not meet the criteria, she can't hope to get the visa. She will be refused the visa in 99% of cases, and once it has happened, it will make it even more difficult for her to apply for a visa next time. If she tries any tricks with the consulate, she may even be blacklisted. If you have not met in person before, it will be impossible to get the only type of visa she should use for coming to you - a fiancee visa.

If it's a problem for you to travel to Russia, you may consider a possibility to meet somewhere else - on one of the islands where she does not need visa to come (Caribbean or any other close by). Men might ask again: "You stated that is difficult for a Russian woman to visit the US and Canada. I checked the information page for US visas and it seemed pretty routine to get a tourist visa for the US. An invitation, proof of property, employment, children in Russia, and return trip ticket. Did I miss something?" They probably think that the procedure is the same for a guy from, for example, France, and a single woman from Eastern Europe. I can tell you that US embassy is very concerned about single women from Eastern Europe visiting States on tourist visas. Very often they don't return.

So you can try to apply for a tourist visa, and check yourself what thousands US men already know - for an unmarried woman from Russia a tourist visa is more than very difficult to obtain. Some men even spoke to their Embassy, and they confirmed she can apply for a tourist visa. The lady does, it takes 3-6 months to collect all necessary papers, then they wait 2-3 months again for decision, and eventually the visa is refused. It will frustrate your lady up to the limit, and she will be about to give up. You'd better believe this and don't try it on your own. The correct way of bringing a woman into US (Canada) is fiancee visa that requires your personal meeting before the time.

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Is it true that some Russians don't like people from US or Canada?

No, it's not. Russians love foreigners and feel cannot understand when sometimes the same respect is not given to them.

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Why is alcohol abuse in Russia pervasive? Can I not drink when offered?

In Russia, like many countries, alcohol is the only affordable solution to have some fun and get rid of hard reality of everyday fight for survival. The other things like gyms, travel, arts, concerts etc are too expensive. It was also a part of culture and skills to drink a lot without getting drunk are considered to be a part of "the real man" image. You don't have to drink, if you don't want to. You may say that you are sick and use medicine that does not allow using any alcohol, or just make a sip and put your glass back. Or just say that you are strongly against of drinking - Russians are aware that many foreigners are not 100% in their heads ;-)

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Will I get a hassle from the government when visit Russia?

It's not a Soviet Union any longer and the times of cold war are long gone!. The government doesn't care about foreign tourists anymore, they have too many things to think of.

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